Jan 13, 2012 4:03am Kyle Staskiewicz ♦
 » Webmaster Lv 128 / 27 Blogs

Why didn't you respond to my message?

I've found that a lot of people get irritated with me because I never "respond" to their messages, when in reality I only ignore a very small percentage of messages. So, let me explain the process of messaging me so that you'll know exactly what happens. I rarely ever keep my IM windows on my screen, they're always covered up by other windows, and usually my phone is somewhere across the room. I rely solely on the notification sound to tell me that I've received a new message. In the case of my phone, I only use the vibrate settings (which is actually quite loud when sitting on a hard surface) and never use a ringtone. Sometimes, if I'm really focused on something, I merely don't hear anything. Yes, I do get that into some of my programming things sometimes, and when you're playing a game, it can also get quite loud and harder to hear notifications. I do try to check on my messages on my computer and on my phone every once in a while just to make sure I didn't miss anything.

After getting past the issue of actually knowing I got a message, you get to the point of "Am I doing something right now?" If I was at work, I'd completely ignore the notification until my next break or I get off. I never check messages in the middle of my shift, sorry. Otherwise, if I'm really focused on something that I'm close to finishing, I might put the notification off as a "do this after" note without even checking what it was, which actually is what happens a vast majority of the time when I don't respond. This is because sometimes I forget that note. If I do forget, I obviously won't respond. Occasionally I'll remember, but if I'm still busy I won't do anything and the process loops around until either I do forget or it continues onto the next stage in the process of me replying to you.

The next important factor is if I even feel like chatting at the moment. Sometimes I can go into bad moods where I just sit there and stare at the TV or the ceiling and process thoughts. During these times, I tend to ignore most messages just because I don't care about anything right now. Nothing against you, personally. If I don't feel like chatting, but I like you (either as a close friend, or I find you attractive), I'll at least try to reply with a simple "lol"or a smiley face to acknowledge you, even though I don't feel like typing anything out at the moment.

Finally, the most important. Is there anything to even say back? I don't understand how people expect a unique response back when they've just said something to you that doesn't leave any room to go. I get this quite often from people who reply with something like "yes, that's cool" and then expect you to say something back. What do I say back to that? Seriously. I'm not one of those people who says thing just to say something. I'm very quiet, and if I have nothing to say, I don't say anything. It's a very simple thing to understand. Since some people can't comprehend this concept, I try to also reply with a smiley place or something so they can't say I didn't reply to them. Whatever.

Of course, if there was something to say, you'll get the proper response. If all this was too confusing for you and you are a visual person like me, you can take a look at the neat chart I drew up below.